I have no new pictures to add today. I just wanted to share a little of what is going on with Iliana and how God is working. The following is something that I feel compelled to share with everyone. They are just some of my thoughts while sitting in the hospital. Beth Moore put it best in one of her bible studies when she wrote "Nothing in life is a waste when you allow God to use it". I believe that God needs me to share this with as many people as possible. What better way than this blog to get the word out, right?

Iliana was hospitalized Monday evening. I took her to the ER because she was having seizures and between seizures, she just wasn't herself. In addition, she was starting to run a high fever. I didn't expect to be here long. What I did expect was to be told she had another ear infection causing her seizures and fever, we'd stay 1-2 days for observation, go home and follow up with her pediatrician and neurologist.

But, this is the point where God decided to take us on a new journey. The doctors decided that the fever and seizures were not of primary concern, but her labored breathing was. So, now I sit here waiting. Waiting for the doctors to come by daily and discuss her "progression of disease" with me. Waiting for Iliana to decide she wants to be off the oxygen and breathe well on her own. Waiting for God to step in, take control (as though He didn't already) and prove to everyone that He is the only one capable of bettering this situation.

I have to take a few steps back now and say that God has been working, moving, and showing Himself to Dwight and I for some time. Showing us what it means to "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding". Growing us in our walk with him and showing us the power of prayer. Teaching us that having faith in God is a decision. It's not a magic word that, when spoken, takes away all hurt. Life is full of difficulties, no mystery there right? The road God has chosen for us is not an easy one. To love someone so much and be completely useless is devastating. At least that is how I feel this very moment. What I do know is that my faith in God is the only thing that I can hold on to, the only thing that I know is true, and it will sustain me throughout this trial. There are times when I feel my faith is strong and there are times I feel weak. However, the bible says that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Two nights ago, my life felt as though it was turned upside down. I had a doctor come in and discuss Iliana's situation with me and all of the possibilities and things that might lie ahead of her. I have to admit that I was completely crushed. The verse that came to mind was "my soul melts from heaviness". Shortly thereafter I felt completely spent, physically, spiritually, emotionally, you get the picture. I didn't question why God was allowing certain things to happen, but I did want to know what He was asking of me and what the next step would be. What He answered me is that He wants nothing less than EVERYTHING, and He will use it all for His glory. You see, we all have a "progression of disease". It's called sin, and life is our progression. But we all have a choice. We can at some point during our lives believe in God, believe He is who he says he is and trust that He died on the cross as a result of the sin that we are all born with and that now we have true life. That's it. God made it clear to me that evening that we are all dying, it's inevitable. Christ brings true life and it's up to each of us to either accept it or not.

I don't know what the outcome will be or when we will leave the hospital. My prayer is that God's goodness and glory will be revealed to all who come in contact with Iliana. That those who already believe in Him will be strengthened in their faith and be encouraged to continue their walk with God, and that those who do not believe in God would also see Him in this situation and would give their life to Him and realize that a life without God is full of despair and hopelessness.